Yea I noe this post's supposed to go below the other one, but well, who cares...I wanna rant =)
Grad day basically SUCKS for me. I forgot to register for the grad day ceremony online so I had a blue card, instead of the white one, which labeled me as a 'Latecomer' and I'm(we're-all the 'latecomers') stuck outside to wait for my turn ( IAD's turn), while standing and watching the whole thing from the pathetic TV screen. It's only after that that we get to go in and sit and watch the rest of the ceremony, then I realised they have sooooo friggin much rows of FREE EMPTY UNOCCUPIED seatS around. Ok, maybe they need to check if more guest are coming.... but the rest are my own personal problems... I had to walk around alot to look for friends and stuff and I only had this boots with pretty high heels, which matched the criteria and the overall look of the gown to wear, so I was wearing it for at least 2 full hours straight, either walking or standing before entering the ceremony. I rarely wear heels, let along high ones, so you can say that my feet almost died way before I got on stage.
'then why did you buy heels so high in the first place?' you might ask, and my answer is that I was being stupid and thought that the heels are not very high when I bought it.
To top it off, I had a SEVERE headache somewhere when the ceremony just started so I was glad when my mum msged me if I wanted to go home so she could rest earlier for tml, sometime in the middle of the ceremony, but well, we decided to eat the buffet as dinner as we didnt want to cook so we didnt leave that early, I didnt really have much appetite for dinner due to my headache, but my stomach says otherwise..... oh well whatever LOL.
Some grad day eh? Looking back, I really wanted to snap a pic with everyone that I know yesterday, but what I felt then was the total opposite.... so yea, apologies with anyone that wanted a photo and sry cheryl I didnt lend my camera for u to take more pics.
Hmm now my random thoughts, not related to grad day... too lazy to put in separate posts.
I wish I could get back the excitement of being a kid, you know, like how they go so excited over seeing a pretty butterfly flying pass them and start yelling for their mum to come see or over a class field trip. Now it's like, not much things can make me that excited anymore, much of what see/do is like a repetition that we have everyday and that makes life ALOT more boring than a kid... Happy things do happen, but not like those with overflowing excitement, adrenaline pumping and you might start screaming around happily any time soon.
Oh yea... and I wonder why my new nokia phone keeps hanging so much of the time? it's irritating as hell...... are most hp like that nowadays? I couldnt even open a damn message for half a day if I didnt pull out the battery and put it in again when it hangs. oh btw you cant call me when it hangs too. stoooopid phone.
hmmm what else? oh right...I've been wanting to do this for quite some time alr... I really want to go japan again, for sight-seeing, shopping and playing around in there......WITHOUT a tour... I also want to go there to catch my fav artistes's concert... the Gazette, X japan...maybe Dir En Grey, to name a few. But before going.... I need to accomplish a few obvious tasks first..=)
Yup! Today's the kind of day that i havent had for quite long already. Splashed much of my money hanging out with friends, but it's worth it coz i had my fill of fun. Initially we just wanted to go for bowling but ended up playing pool, bowling, watch movie and had a nice little chat at Gelarie Cafe till 11pm.
There was such a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooog queue for bowling we actually thought it will take 3 hrs till our turn to play, so we suggested watching a movie then. It actually turned out to be faster than we thought so we spent the time playing pool, but too late, after talking about what movie to watch we already felt like watching movie lol... at least i did ...hahaha. We watched Chocolate after bowling. It's a good show, i like the adrenaline I got from watching the fighting scene, made me more interested in Muay Thai than before LOLL. The interesting fact about the movie is that none of the stunts acted out uses stunt double, something like those jackie chan movies( except that alot of injuries happened), which was another reason i wanted to watch this movie.
I realized I'm kinda rusty at pool and bowling now after not playing them for eons ever since i entered the mad life in poly. Felt soooooooooooooo relaxed again, i'm glad i could feel this happy and all that again, coz somehow, these past 3 years i realised i'm kinda rigid around people, always wondering what to say and not, feeling tired and not really into socializing..... so i bet i look VERY aloof and ...uninteresting =_=" . Even one of my old friends told me that i became very quiet during these past 3 years. Well, I couldnt really help it. There's just a sudden explosion of stress, tiredness, bad stuff and unhappy stuff that happened upon entering the next stage of life..... which is very common. I think it's that i couldnt handle it that well that's why i became more quieter.
BUT, i know that i definitely grew much more, in many different ways, from the previous stage.
I'm happy about that =)
Lately these few weeks I've been really weird, saying i need a job then pushing them away... yea, many called back to me but i always decline, then find some kind of reason, whether i think so or not to tell people around me who asks 'why?'. I feel messed up.....kind of. For no apparent reason either, feeling depressed, then irritated, then happy then this then that... Is this a kind of disease? I hope not. Spamming The Gazette's songs all day long keeps my spirits up, but the effect dies away pretty quickly afterwards.
I have this weird thought that's bugging me lots ever since few days ago...Life's just this hell of an insanely huge prison where some kind of superior being is keeping everyone in. Everyone has no way of escaping and is bound to whatever means and ways to get themselves to survive. AND that superior being keeps enjoying throwing in funny obstacles and watch ppl struggling to get over it.
Oh yea, the reply to the application to NTU results are out, as i thought, i didnt get in. Many poly friends that i heard from didnt get in either. The govt really do give priority to JC students... but i dont really mind... Felt kind of relieved even, at the sudden thought that i wont have to start sch this august and that i suddenly have many choices in life, and even right now.
I just have to get a grip on this messy enough life, and get on with it. Easy to say, hard to do...plus the fact that i realised that i DO get exhausted doing god-knows-what-kinda-junk-all-lazy-bum-does for this whole day doesnt help much.