Lately these few weeks I've been really weird, saying i need a job then pushing them away... yea, many called back to me but i always decline, then find some kind of reason, whether i think so or not to tell people around me who asks 'why?'. I feel messed up.....kind of. For no apparent reason either, feeling depressed, then irritated, then happy then this then that... Is this a kind of disease? I hope not. Spamming The Gazette's songs all day long keeps my spirits up, but the effect dies away pretty quickly afterwards.
I have this weird thought that's bugging me lots ever since few days ago...Life's just this hell of an insanely huge prison where some kind of superior being is keeping everyone in. Everyone has no way of escaping and is bound to whatever means and ways to get themselves to survive. AND that superior being keeps enjoying throwing in funny obstacles and watch ppl struggling to get over it.
Oh yea, the reply to the application to NTU results are out, as i thought, i didnt get in. Many poly friends that i heard from didnt get in either. The govt really do give priority to JC students... but i dont really mind... Felt kind of relieved even, at the sudden thought that i wont have to start sch this august and that i suddenly have many choices in life, and even right now.
I just have to get a grip on this messy enough life, and get on with it. Easy to say, hard to do...plus the fact that i realised that i DO get exhausted doing god-knows-what-kinda-junk-all-lazy-bum-does for this whole day doesnt help much.