*warning-not for the anti-emo ppl*

500am, and I still couldn’t fall asleep. I never really posted all I wanted to, all those feelings which I wanted to say through the past month, the past weeks…and instead let them get bottled up and die silently alongside time like how I used to deal with all the bad/sad stuff in the past. I don’t really want a few certain someone to know about this…but I don’t care much anymore…. coz now, I keep thinking…thinking…of you. I guess the sadness never really will fade away, although now, I can go to those places, I was afraid to even see, those with many many memories of you.

I’m pouring them out …almost all that I felt that period of time…I can vaguely remember some, but I nid to just bare them all out…at least, as much as I can.

It’s funny how I never knew how deep my feelings can grow in such a short time, its also funny how I never thought I’ll feel so low, so much yearning and sadness even though the hours we spent together is so little, it’s pitiful. I still remember thinking ‘will I ever get past this and move on? Will I even move on at all??’

That day, when I realized the answer instinctively, subconsciously, I should have left. It’s really the funniest how I could ever ever have to get over this before its even over. I wanted to be strong, I wanted to think clearly and choose the best way out, but those irritating feelings kept clouding over. Ended up I didn’t see what I really should do immediately right after I realized the truth subconsciously. I kept denying. Ended up I couldn’t get over this on my own, and had some really really great support from someone. Ended up wondering if I did anything wrong or was it your problem.

I have generally got past the worst. Looking back, I’ll admit I’m an idiot …for not realizing immediately even when the answer was staring at me right in the face. Yes, indeed, you are busy with your new life. Indeed, you are living at an inconvenient distance…….but…the answer was damn obvious.

I’m emo? I think too much? Why do I cry? I throw these questions back to you, and you’ll never ever be able to feel the answers 100%, being the way you are.

Even now, I believe you wont see this. I bet you cant even remember the link of my blog…coz u cant even be bothered…and that’s y I posted.